Preparing for School Conferences: A How-To Guide

School conferences are often a source of anxiety for children who learn differently and their parents. Past conferences may have focused primarily on behavior rather than progress or learning challenges rather than solutions. In some cases, the meeting may have felt combative rather than productive or left you feeling blindsided by surprising information not communicated beforehand.

But conferences don’t have to be something you dread. Parent/teacher/student conferences are a valuable opportunity to celebrate your child’s growth, discuss areas of challenge, and ensure that everyone—student, family, and school—is working as a team. With some thoughtful preparation and a purposeful approach, they can become a conversation that helps you and the teacher understand your child’s progress and needs.

BEFORE: How to prepare for a successful conference

While the teacher evaluates your child’s performance at school, you see what they can’t: the application of their skills and knowledge in the real world. You can therefore be an extension of the teacher’s eyes and ears and help the teacher truly understand your child’s growth. Before the scheduled date, take some time to reflect on the topics below. Share your insights about your child and your observations of their confidence and independence, as these will help the teacher to understand your child’s needs.

1. Emotional wellbeing
   What does your child say about school at home? Do they mention friends, or parts of the day they enjoy? Are there worries that seem beyond the normal range?
2. Homework
   How independent is your child during homework time? How long does it take them to complete? Are homework routines smooth or stressful? Do you notice signs of avoidance, frustration, or fatigue?
3. Skills outside school
   Is your child reading in real-world situations and connecting new knowledge to the world around them? How are they applying social-emotional skills, such as considering another person’s perspective, handling frustration without becoming overwhelmed, or performing chores independently?
4. A top priority you want to discuss
   Pick one or two key topics to ensure your most important questions get answered. Ask your child to prepare a question about their progress and to share their own assessment about their learning thus far. At de Paul, students take part each week in setting and evaluating their goals, including academic skills, student skills, self-regulation, and social interactions. Our students are active contributors to our conference discussions.

DURING: What to ask and what to listen for

Conferences are wonderful opportunities to hear directly from your child’s teacher. But they’re also a time to ask thoughtful questions that will help you understand your child’s experience, successes and opportunities. Here are a few questions you can ask.

1. What have you identified as my child’s strengths and areas of opportunity?
2. What are my child’s main learning goals over the next few weeks?
3. What is my child’s level of mastery with these goals?
4. What signs of developing mastery should I be watching for?
5. What support can I provide at home?

Getting the most out of your conference takes a combination of good questions and careful listening. The teacher works with your child all day, through challenges and successes. You can learn so much from the details they share with you.

As you talk with your child and their teacher, listen closely for:

1. Where your child is making progress, and where they’re falling behind
2. Signs that something isn’t clicking, socially or academically
3. Whether the teacher understands how your child learns, and what resources are
   available to support them at school
4. A clear plan for the areas that need special attention, and ways you can help at home

AFTER: Once the conference ends

Your conference shouldn’t be a one-time event. The most valuable conferences spark an ongoing conversation with your child and their teacher. And they give you information you can use to support your child inside and outside of school.

Here are a few next steps to consider.

1. Send a follow-up email two weeks later. Check on your child’s progress and revisit any unanswered questions you may have. This is also the perfect opportunity to share any words of thanks or affirmation with your child’s teachers.
2. Put your plans into action at home. Create a focused workspace for homework or make more time for conversations about school with your child. Your child will benefit from seeing direct connections between home and school.
3. Contact the dean or administrator if you need more support. Sometimes a conference illuminates issues that deserve the attention of school leadership. You are your child’s most valuable advocate. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for the support they deserve.

Learn more about The de Paul difference

At The de Paul School, we understand the challenges – and brilliance – of children with learning differences. We teach students with learning differences how to learn, how to be independent, and how to be successful.

Phil Howell is the Interim Head of School at de Paul.